“Having a baby doesn’t make you a mother any more than having a piano makes you a musician?”
I had to read that line twice over at Adoption Voices to ensure my eyes were not deceiving me.
People kill me. Seriously? A mother is a mother is a mother. I don’t care if she gives birth or adopts or fosters or is parenting her husband’s kids with his ex.
Giving birth immediately makes a woman a mother. This is biological destiny. This is science. This is fact. It does not matter if she is not raising her child. It does not matter if she does not play any significant role in the child’s life at all. It does not matter who she is or what she does for a living or how much money she has or what her IQ is or who she roots for on Dancing With The Stars. The fact that she gave birth is indisputable. It makes her a mother.
Adopting also makes you a mother. You have a legal documet that says so. You are doing the mothering and the loving 24/7. You are building a relationship and a history with your child. You are a mom.
Why does it feel like some people need to make it a war, a competition. Someone always has to be the loser. Women and their “territory”
You’re a mother. She’s a mother. Deal with it.
Having a heart doesn’t make you compassionate any more than having a brain makes you intelligent.