“Having a baby doesn’t make you a mother any more than having a piano makes you a musician?”

September 15, 2009 at 4:26 am 5 comments

Yikes.

I had to read that line twice over at Adoption Voices to ensure my eyes were not deceiving me.

People kill me. Seriously? A mother is a mother is a mother. I don’t care if she gives birth or adopts or fosters or is parenting her husband’s kids with his ex.

Giving birth immediately makes a woman a mother. This is biological destiny. This is science. This is fact. It does not matter if she is not raising her child. It does not matter if she does not play any significant role in the child’s life at all. It does not matter who she is or what she does for a living or how much money she has or what her IQ is or who she roots for on Dancing With The Stars. The fact that she gave birth is indisputable. It makes her a mother.

Adopting also makes you a mother. You have a legal documet that says so. You are doing the mothering and the loving 24/7. You are building a relationship and a history with your child. You are a mom.

Why does it feel like some people need to make it a war, a competition. Someone always has to be the loser. Women and their “territory” :(

You’re a mother. She’s a mother. Deal with it.

Having a heart doesn’t make you compassionate any more than having a brain makes you intelligent.

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Entry filed under: Adoption, Venting. Tags: .

“Nobody puts Baby in a corner” I barely know you but tell me everything…

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Tonggu Momma  |  September 15, 2009 at 11:45 am

    I read that last night. *hitting head against the wall* So – according to that so-called logic – if a woman gives birth to a child who happens to have severe health issues and that child dies within a few hours, does that make her NOT a mom? *still hitting head against the wall* A mother is a mother is a mother.

    Reply
    • 2. madduchess  |  September 16, 2009 at 12:43 am

      if a woman gives birth to a child who happens to have severe health issues and that child dies within a few hours, does that make her NOT a mom?

      Exactly… and what if the mom dies? Is she suddenly not a mom anymore either just because she’s dead?

      Sheesh.

      Reply
  • 3. Mei-Ling  |  September 15, 2009 at 1:53 pm

    Oh, I read that.
    And laughed at the absurdity of it.

    Reply
    • 4. madduchess  |  September 16, 2009 at 12:44 am

      Right-on, Mei-Ling;

      Sometimes laughing is all you can do…

      lest we start the beatings ;)

      Reply
  • 5. Anonymous  |  November 15, 2009 at 8:02 pm

    What an utter load of BS… I don’t know where you get your info from, but you better burn it… one of the things that’s messed up about our somewhat fair planet is that the individuals that do most of the messing were raised by women who thought they were mothers but never were at all…. mothers need to love and nurture their children, not feed them lies and garbage like this…

    Reply

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